Pooper's guide to Fashion (the Dove version)

[Snowy_pied_chic]

(for background information, pls see Victoria Beckham, you have met your match/Pet pigeons and doves).
Sorry, couldn't resist this little bit if fun...
Pooper's guide to Fashion
1. Preparation is everything! Even for a cute dove like you, you can beautify yourself further by preening for 87.5534% of your 24 hour schedule.
Example:
2. Every ringneck dove has a dream...make your owner fufil it by using these easy, foolproof tecniques:

-Bribery (i'll sit on these eggs for 5 minutes if you book me in a home-modeling agency...)
-being a drama queen
-strutting around the cage as if you are the master of it...
Repeat the above steps until your peers are reasonably angry. Then, when the cameras start appearing... please move to step 3
3. Posture. You must stand TALL, looking down upon everything else. Here is a good example:

Ham it up, exaggerate every move (think of britney spears hehe...)
Toss your head and walk elegantly like a ballerina...twitch your wings and blink purposefully... puff out your chest and swish your tail, try to look as respectable and as posh as a school principal... (PLAY HARD-TO-GET!)
4. Read the italian vogue, or at least take a peek at some of the pictures. Then buy some fashionable clothes. this attractive contraption i'm wearing is called a "hair tie"

Yes, it's a wonder they don't call it a neck tie...

(to be continued)