Season 2. Episode #11

[alvin]

Moe paced back and forth in Pete's house. She was sure that the SPPs should be back by now. She decided to check in with Dudley, The thought of him playing with his bell, and hitting on her would take her mind off not being out with the SPPs.
She pitched a rather silent fit when she found out that Dudley had gone out somewhere. So she decided to sulk in his house until he came back, just so she could ignore him.
'MEN!' She huffed. 'You just can't rely on 'em!'

She was busy thinking of ways of giving him a piece of her mind without actually talking to him, when suddenly the world tilted sideways. There was a loud bang, a descending 'Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!' and the world went dark.
It took her a second to realize that she was not dead, blind, or deaf. Dudley's house had collapsed around her. She mentally replayed the last couple of miliseconds, and said:
'Hi UNi, how did it go?'

Uni didn't answer. Hali and Dudley pulled her from the pile of debris that used to be Dudley's house. Slightly dishevled and disorentated she gave Dudley a
hug, and wingslapped Hali. As soon as the world stopped spinning, she did the exact same thing in reverse order.
It didn't matter to Dudley. He got a HUG!!!!!!

Uni finally got the three SPPs to quite down, as she filled Mona in on events. Dudly was deputized as a candidate associate SPP. - Acting. - Unpaid.
The ceremony is rather simple it envolves the SPP oath;

[Raise right wing. Repeat the Following]

I" <State_Name-Of-Pijie> do swear, as Witnessed by, <State_Name_Of_Witness_Pijie>, and as proposed by <State_Name_of_Sponsoring_SPP>, That I shall;
(i) Carry out my duties as directed by older and wiser Pijies as required. Should none be available, I will always act for the good of defenceless animals in general, and Pijies in particular.On pain of a Buttkicking from Tooter.
(ii) I shall also share my seeds with all pijies as necessary. Their hunger is more important than mine.
(iii) I shall not bully, nor make fun of other Pijies, because of their age, sex, colour, general presentation, or personal hygene.
(iv) I Shall not cause the death of any creature. However, general mayhem, public ridicule, and, a gratuitious wingslapping are quite acceptable, as is
destruction of private property (belonging to the bad guys) and re-arranging of personal items.
(v) Mr. Squeeks seeds belong to Mr. Squeeks.
(Vi) I shall not use the "BMail" system for anything other then emergency communications among the SPPs. Calling for a Pizza is not an emergency situation.
I shall endevour to be good in all things. So help me.
Should I fail in my duties, may I get the worst case of Pigeon Fly, and Feather Lice, in history....

A single solitary tear ran down Dudley's cheek as he recited the oath. He wished his Mother could see this. She would be so proud.

Uni located Dudley's seed bowl, and started pecking. Dudley thought to himself, that if he had known that such auspicious company was coming, he wouldn't have scarfed down all of the Safflower seeds, and left nothing but maize. Mona decided to ignore him.
Hali was the one who broached the subject.

'Erm, Uni?' she asked in a mouselike voice 'what are we supposed to do now?'
'MMmpfh MMmfph.....Gimme a second.' Answered Uni.

'Ok. We have tried the stealthy approach, with three pigeons. It didn't work.' Answered Uni scratching her beak to clean out some dust. 'We need an Army'.
'Where are we going to get that many Pijies all in one place?' Asked Mona.
'In North Carolina. Right near the target too......' Answered Uni. 'Oh, and I know the exact Pijie that we need to lead them.'
'What the heck are you talking about?' Asked Hali. Haly, despite the presence of the miricle Pijie, was still cynical as ever.

'Follow me, and find out. Mona. We will need a distraction. I need you to arrange that. Meet me here in an hour or so.'
'How do I do that?'
'Figure it out yourself young lady. The answer is within you.'

Uni dissapeared in a flash, with a shrug, Dudly grabbed Hali and followed.
Dudley and Hali arrived in a strange loft in NC. Rootbeer bottles we piled neatly in the corner. Dudley felt something crunch under his toes as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. He looked down to see a chewing gum wrapper carelessly discarded on the floor. He was aware of many things. One of which was silence. It wasn't the silence you get when there is nobody there. It was the silence you get when there are a lot of Pijies waiting to see what you will do next.
Most of them were holding small pool queues.
Dudley gulped. Then he did what comes naturally for a scared Pijie.
He had the dignity to blush.

Things could have gone really bad for Dudley, if Uni hadn't arrived right at that moment.
She came to a halt on one of the many pool tables arranged about the loft. Coincidently, she sunk the "8" ball. The attention of the Pijies was distracted for a moment. Long enough for Uni to stand up, and glare at the gathered crowd.
'Dudley? Hali? May I introduce you to our army.....AKA the "Crackhouse Babies".

'Oh! GREAT!' said Dudley, As if we didn't have enought problems. - Hali? - watch your seeds......'

[Lady Tarheel]

Oh Alvin, my babies are going to the rescue. What a proud, proud, mama I am.

PS - they hide the pool tables and root beer from me

[mr squeaks]

Oh, how fun! Congratulations, Lady Maggie and Lord Lewis!

Little did you know how your act of kindness would help ALL pigeondom!

(alvin...who is Mona?? a.k.a. Moe?)

[alvin]

Moe is a girl. Ask Dudley.
Hence Mona.

[mr squeaks]

Yes, I knew Moe was a girl (full name Geronimo), but I didn't see how you came up with Mona.

No problem...OK...Moe/Mona...one and the same...got it...

[alvin]

Originally Posted by Lady Tarheel

Oh Alvin, my babies are going to the rescue. What a proud, proud, mama I am.

PS - they hide the pool tables and root beer from me

As they hide the maps, and sand table from Victor.

Pijies are clever.

[Lady Tarheel]

Shi, I'm glad you asked about Mona. Thought Alvin was having a senior moment like we have.

[Rockie]

Oh my god! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HISTERICAL! I must be the last person that hasn't read any of these "stories". I always see the thread headings and kind of wondered what it was about...but I never have enough time to look at half the threads I want.

You know you are hitting me where it hurts...I had given up soaps a long time ago and have remained on the wagon, until now! Now I have to back track and catch up.

Really unbelieveable how witty people on this site are! THANK YOU!

[Feather]

Welcome Leslie, We are all SPP junkies.

The Crack House Babies will get our heros out of that net. Don't worry! They can do it!

Feather

P.S. I knew who Mona was!

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Feather

Welcome Leslie, We are all SPP junkies.

The Crack House Babies will get our heros out of that net. Don't worry! They can do it!

Feather

P.S. I knew who Mona was!

Yeah, me too...who else could it have been. No one has sent a SPP named Mona. But Moe to Mona? Well, maybe she's in PUSS too as a REALLY deep mole...

[Pete Jasinski]

Originally Posted by mr squeaks

Yeah, me too...who else could it have been. No one has sent a SPP named Mona. But Moe to Mona? Well, maybe she's in PUSS too as a REALLY deep mole...

How could accuse my sweet lil Moe of being a PUSS double agent. Poor girl, she's just a lil misunderstood.

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Pete Jasinski

How could accuse my sweet lil Moe of being a PUSS double agent. Poor girl, she's just a lil misunderstood.

Pete, Pete, Pete...first, I did NOT accuse Moe of being a PUSS double agent...I said she MAY be. And, second, IF she IS, that is WHY she is so good! WHO in the world would suspect her, right???

Perfect moles are incredibly rare. They are NEVER caught and that's why they are so rare! No one knows who they are!

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by little bird

I heard some scuttlebut about a squadron of FEATHERNECKS stationed at Marine Corps Air Station, Cherry Point, North Carolina.........are they Lady Tarheel's "crack house" crew??????????

Veeerrry clever, little bird! Could be, but only Alvin knows for sure...

[Pete Jasinski]

Originally Posted by mr squeaks

Pete, Pete, Pete...first, I did NOT accuse Moe of being a PUSS double agent...I said she MAY be. And, second, IF she IS, that is WHY she is so good! WHO in the world would suspect her, right???

Perfect moles are incredibly rare. They are NEVER caught and that's why they are so rare! No one knows who they are!

I'm going to have to keep the surveillance cam trained on her room now that you have piqued my curiosity.

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Pete Jasinski

I'm going to have to keep the surveillance cam trained on her room now that you have piqued my curiosity.

I wouldn't waste the cam, Pete. You have forgotten about the SEED HOLES. Cams can't follow. Most of the time, IF Moe is a PUSS agent, she wouldn't be "agenting" in her own room!

Also, these agents are masters of deception. You could never be sure the cam was REALLY watching Moe or an imposter who looks and acts exactly like her!

See what I mean about "incredibly rare?"