Season 2. Episode #12

[alvin]

Meanwhile back in the Dog Carrier, our fearless trio were experiencing something that an SPP never came across before. They were clueless. Usually Squeek's super beak would sheer through any obsticle, But that sort of depends on him being able to put the bars in his beak without barfing. If the lock was electronic, Dinkster could open it faster then greased ferret down a drainpipe. But agianst a good old fashioned lock and key, all of his hi-tech, and rather expensive equipment was about as usefull as a bucket of stale yak dung.

Locked in here, without anything to hit, or anyone to direct, Tooter was at a loss as to what to do next. That fact was beginning to wear on his nerves.

'Ok, Tooter. So what do we do now?' Asked Dinkster.
'I'm Thinking.'
'Can you think quickly. I want to go home. Shi will be devastated if I don't wake her up in the morning.' Said Squeeks.
'We all have someone at home Squeeks'.
'Maybe you could go berzerk and bust us out of here?' thought Dinkster.
'Dink? - You might want to hop on to the internut on your laptop there, and look up the words "Enclosed" and "Space".' Said Squeeks. 'And when you get the deffinition, think about what would happen to a pijie who was in one, with Tooter when he went "Bahooties".'
'Oh.......Ok.......forget I said that...Tooter? - You calm?'

Tooter turned around and stared at the two pijies.
'Gentlepijies. I'm not going to lie to you, we are in a dilly of a pickle here. We were caught well and good by someone who knows us better then our humans do. That someone set us up from the very first second. From the flier for the dove hunt, to this feindishly simple, but compleetly effective prison.'

'But who could do all of that?' Asked Squeeks.

'Dorian Von Nastypuss'.

'Who's He?'
'Dorian is the King of Cats. As such he is the ultimate pijie hater. He always has been. He has been the one pulling the Pijie haters strings. He is an old
soul. He was there when Noah sent out the dove. He nearly caught that one, but was foiled because the dove was an SPP.'
'Wow'. said the pijies.

'But it's not all that bad, we are not alone. Moe and Uni both know where we are, there are many SPPs out there. All we have to do is sit, wait, and have faith.'

Dorian felt like strutting. So he did.
Tooter was captured, as was Squeeks and Dinkster. Tomorrow morning the SPPs would loose their heart, their brains, and their good right arm. He was happy. More then that, he was extatic.
'Dorian!' Screamed Tiddles. 'The Doves are gone!'
'I know.'
'You know? - you don't look concerned.'
'Zat is because I am not. In fact ze fewer doves around ze better.'
'But there is a dove hunt on tomorrow. It can't happen without doves.....'
'Tiddles? - Vot is a dove?' Asked Dorian rhetoricaly 'A dove is zomezink that goes "Coo" und is small, und covered with feathers.'
'And?'
'Und vot is ze only thing that matches that description in ziss general area right now?'
'Oh.......I get it.........Oh Dorian! that is Evil!!!'
'Nein. Zat is Evil!'
'That's what I said.'
'Ja, but I said it mit better punctuation.'

Moe wondered what to do. She was only one Pijie. And as we all know, Pijies, need a flock to belong too. They don't believe in standing out. Pijies are some of the most self concious animals in the world. What to do?......
She paced from room to room. The house seemed somewhat empty without Dudley, but she put that out of her mind. The more worried she became, the more her natural pijie nature took over. Almost without knowing it, she flew up and landed on Pete's computer. She was looking for high ground, instead she struck a goldmine.

On the screen was a picture of the hottest Pijie she had ever seen. It's a pitty her name was "Garye". But then again you couldn't have everything. Just looking at her you Knew that she was born to be a distraction. Mona had what she needed. She made two mental notes. Firstly, she memorized the address, secondly, she made a note to make sure that Dudley and her never met.
Mona was cute. But Garye was the original Pijie-Fatal.

She would collect Mary Lou on the way to Mass.....In a flash, she was gone.


Meanwhile back in NC, Uni was managing to outstare 26 or so Pijies. Dudley and Hali remained stock still, not wanting to break the spell.

Then the door slammed open, and in walked...well no.....Stalked the most compact pijie that any of them had ever seen. He was Gertrude with blue feathers. The only fat on his body was the extra peanuts he had for lunch. This pijie looked like he ate gas, and pooped flames.

One glance, and you knew you were in the presence of a Featherneck. A Jar Beak. A Camp LeJune survivor. A Paris Island Pijie.
Gunnery Sgt. Stratton. D.S.O. (Digests Seeds Only)

[Maggie-NC]

Hi Alvin, although he is not a CHB (came from Camp Lejeune via the bridge) Stratton is very appropriate to be the Sgt. He is a take charge kind of guy and can whip the CHB's in shape in no time flat. I suspect he thinks he'll be a 5 star in a year or so.

This is so good. The episodes get better each time. Garye is such a looker that even Nastypuss may fall for her. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Lady Tarheel

Hi Alvin, although he is not a CHB (came from Camp Lejeune via the bridge) Stratton is very appropriate to be the Sgt. He is a take charge kind of guy and can whip the CHB's in shape in no time flat. I suspect he thinks he'll be a 5 star in a year or so.

This is so good. The episodes get better each time. Garye is such a looker that even Nastypuss may fall for her. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Actually, Lady T, I think Dorian is already enamored with Twiggy, his, more than a match, female PUSS member counterpart.

Dudley may "look" but never touch Garye. She is married to Harold and takes her vows seriously. She and Squeaks secretly admire each other, but dream from afar. Both may flirt with the other, but there is no "hanky-panky."

[Garye]

At last! Garye's in the story! I'll have to read it to her tomorrow. No doubt she'll stop pecking and just look at me like I'm crazy, like as if to say, "What are you talking about?"

She's given me that look before when I've spoken to her. Sort of like a slight angle of her head and that stare... like she's trying to figure me out.

Yes she is a femme fatale. (At least Harold thinks so.)

Your writing's naturally good. I enjoy reading these episodes.

[Feather]

Garye is pretty! I suspect she is the Jessica Rabbit in Pigeondom.

Alvin, You have been busy. I can feel those ol wheels turning clear over here in the U.S.. Thank you for including more of this site's beloved pets, and making life a bit more justified for the caregivers of possibly the worlds most misunderstood feathered friend.

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Garye

At last! Garye's in the story! I'll have to read it to her tomorrow. No doubt she'll stop pecking and just look at me like I'm crazy, like as if to say, "What are you talking about?"

She's given me that look before when I've spoken to her. Sort of like a slight angle of her head and that stare... like she's trying to figure me out.

Yes she is a femme fatale. (At least Harold thinks so.)

Your writing's naturally good. I enjoy reading these episodes.

Don't worry, human Garye...she has had you figured out for a loooong time!

Harold isn't the only one who thinks she is a femme fatale...so does Squeaks!

[Feather]

Shi,

How did you wake up this morning with our Super Pigeon stuck in a dog carrier.

Bless his little heart, here he is next to death, and he is worried who is going to get you up in the morning.

Feather

[Pete Jasinski]

Originally Posted by little bird

Does anyone know if Arnie (Michelle's Nanday Conure) belongs to the SPP Special Forces?????With a beak like that.......that dog carrier would be a piece of cake.

The SPPs could have a Foreign Resistance Force comprised of non pigeons. I know Arnie & Guapo the Nanday Freedom Fighters would be helpful allies.

[Feather]

Good idea Pete and Little Bird. Those little parrots with the red socks and the big black beaks would be a great addition to the stories.

[Feather]

Why Pete....How handsome you look this evening! Did you do something different with your hair?

Feather

[mr squeaks]

GOOD LORD, Y'ALL...we're gonna need a program to keep everyone straight! I am getting confused (OK, granted that's not hard, but still...)

Maybe Alvin should put a cast of characters at the end of his episodes WITH the owner's names so we can keep track...

Not to worry Feather. I know Squeaks and sidekicks will get out of the dog carrier. Meanwhile, Squeaks and I have our telepathy link. He STILL gets me up and I can hear the faint tinkle of a bell! (his sense of humor, y'know)

Yeah, those "parrot" type beaks are STRONG!

[Pete Jasinski]

Originally Posted by Feather

Why Pete....How handsome you look the evening!

Why thank you, as you can see I'm getting into the Halloween spirit early. I ordered my new mask to scare the poop outta the local kiddies.....

[Feather]

That really scared me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that your mask? I feel sorry for those little kids. What will your neighbors think with little kid poop all up and down your street.

If you want to keep all of your candy just don't go to the door. Or better yet....go borrow a cup of sugar from the pigeon haters.

[mr squeaks]

UH, Pete...I don't think the parents are going to take kindly to you traumatizing their little darling(s) for LIFE!

That even scares me! YUCK!

[Pete Jasinski]

I'll be sure to have a defibrillator handy just in case. I'm in the process of zombieizing an old suit so I have that fresh from the grave look.