Season 2 Episode #17

[alvin]

Dorian woke up to the sound of the Limo returning. He quickly adjusted his cowl to a more rakish angle, popped a breath freshener (tuna flavoured), and smothed his whiskers into place.
He opened the door with a flourish.
'Tviggy mein katzchen, you are looking radiant as ever.'
'Hello Dorian. Whos' the deadweight?' She asked nodding at Tiddles.
'Ah, yes. I forgot you have not met. This is Tiddles. My Apprentice, Man Servant, und ocassional scratching post. - Tiddles. This is Tviggy. Be nice. Oh, und stop drooling.'

Tiddles slapped a paw over his mouth. It came away slightly damp...mind you, there was much to drool about. From the tip of her nose to the end of her tail, one word described Twiggy.

Slinky.

Never was it more obvious as when she undulated her way into the woods along with Dorian. Tiddles nearly tripped over his jaw as he scurried along to catch up. No kitty should have hips like those....

'This vey Tviggy. I have something special to show you.'
'I do love surprises Dorian.' Purred Twiggy.

Tooter and Dinkster were working on the lock with a piece of wood, trying to get the darn thing open. Tiddles was not going to stick his paw into the dog carrier to retrieve the broken end of the stick. The look on Tooters face had suggested that that would be a bad idea. Especially if he ever wanted to play the bagpipes again. So he had ran off leaving it in there.

'Hello again Tooter Pijie.' Smiled Dorian. 'I have someone here zat I would like you to meet. Tooter, meet.-'
'Awwwwwwwww POOP!' interrupted Squeeks. 'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse......Nasty Putz? or whatever the h-e-double-hockysticks your name is...Just kill me now.'

'You know eachother?' asked Tooter.
'Yeah, I'd recognize that cheap perfume and bargin basement fur colour anywhere. - Hello Twiggy, what brings you to the party.'
'Squeeks, my boy. looking very......incarcerated. Whats the matter, can't beak your way through the bars?'
'I wouldn't be so confident if I were you Twiggy, Remember, one nod from me, and those pictures of you as a kitten get sent to "Cats Owners Weekly".
'You wouldn't DARE!!!!!'
'You can take the cat out of the alley, but you can never take the alley out of the cat, as I like to say'.

'Zer are pictures of you as ze kitten?' grinned Dorian.
'Oh, Squeeks. That castor oil on the bars? - My idea'. Snapped Twiggy.
'Careful kitty, your claws are showing.'
'One of these days Squeeks....'
'Er Excuze me, but can ve discuss ze cute kitty pictures for a moment?'
'Nastyness does not become you Twiggy. You never get it right.'
'It dosn't matter Squeeks. When all of this is over we'll bot know just which one of us owns Shi. I set you up with Dorian, and you walked right into it.'

'HOLD EVERYTHING!!!!! screamed Dorian. 'Ze important thing ve have to remember is ze kitty pictures of mein katzchen Tviggy. She never told me about zem.'
'Ok Dorian, I was young. I needed the cat food. I Had to act cute in order to get adopted. And if that means posing for family christmas cards with a ball of festive twine, and a bow? - well then so be it.'

'It is ok leibchen, ve can't all haVe been born evil. Some of us have to vork at it. I respect you all the more for zat.'

'Condescending little son of a .....' thought Tooter. 'snappy dresser though.' That last bit came out loud.
'Vot!?'
'Nothing, Dorian, nothing....'

'Come schnukelhaze, I have made us some nice ringside seats for the show. Tiddles shall fetch us some refreshments, and ve vill discuss our next dastardly plan. I hear the Oklahomers have not been bothered for some time. Maybe ve should get ze county law changed just a little.....'
'Ohhh I love it when you talk nasty.'

Tiddles brought them an ice bucket with yak cream, and beluga caviar. He managed to handle it quite well until his little waiters outfit gaped, exposing his flank.
'You love What? aske Twiggy when she read what doodles have shaved into his fur.'

Ever see a cat blush?

[Lady Tarheel]

Alvin, so cute - I love the part where you bring back the part where Doodles shaved Tiddles. But, listen, now there are THREE CATS, all hellbent on dirty work.

I'm going out and help Unie and Stratton train the troops.

[Feather]

This story overflows with mystery and intrigue. Is Twiggy evil or a master double agent? Has she secretly dreamed of the day she could rid herself of the "Caped One"?

Stay Tuned

Feather

Maggie, I just read your post. You are such a trooper! I can just see little Thumbelina out there whipping the troops into shape. You could probably ride to the high-jacking on Stratton's back.

[mr squeaks]

LORDY, LORDY, LORDY! Took me 10 minutes to be able to BEGIN to type, I was laughing so hard! Alvin, I MUST say, you have Twiggy down to a(her) "T" !!

I was laughing so hard that Squeaks was beginning to wonder...Twiggy (full from some canned Tuna juice she had recently lapped), just twitched an ear - she needs her beauty sleep, y'know!

Feather is correct. Twiggy IS a PUSS member and should never be trusted. She excels as a double agent. Twiggy is the CLASSIC story of rags to riches, but she lets few know!

Yeah, that shaved Tiddles part was a real riot! HOW FUNNY! Poor Tiddles. Well, that's what a cat gets for going with the wrong crowd...

AND, have no fear, the SPPers are a match for even MORE than THREE cats (Tiddles really doesn't count! He's quite the comic relief!)

I can see the plot "thickens!" You are on a ROLL, Alvin!

[Lady Tarheel]

Originally Posted by Feather

This story overflows with mystery and intrigue. Is Twiggy evil or a master double agent? Has she secretly dreamed of the day she could rid herself of the "Caped one"?

Stay Tuned

Feather

Maggie, I just read your post. You are such a trooper! I can just see little Thumbelina out there whipping the troops into shape. You could probably ride to the high-jacking on Stratton's back.

Feather, so true! I've often said one of the reasons they all get on me is because I'm almost their size. They just sent me back in the house because they were planning strategy and didn't need my help. Said they didn't want their mama getting cold. Aren't my babies considerate?

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Lady Tarheel

Feather, so true! I've often said one of the reasons they all get on me is because I'm almost their size. They just sent me back in the house because they were planning strategy and didn't need my help. Said they didn't want their mama getting cold. Aren't my babies considerate?

Yes, they ARE considerate, Maggie. They also probably thought you don't have enough "attack" instinct (not being a Scorpio and all!) Hey, count your blessings! Not everyone has such a protective flock! Besides, they know you are just too nice! They don't want to put you in harms way. This is SPP work!

Anyone making remarks about Oklahoma better be careful. That's where Unie is from! She's highly protective, y'know. Then, there's Pidgey! There will be the devil to pay if he ever finds out that Unie is in danger, even though we all KNOW that Unie is SUPER SPECIAL and can take care of herself! Living with Pidgey can do that!

[Feather]

Shi, Don't you remember the Oklahomers? They are the birds that homed them selves around Pidgey's house. Some of them were probably fixed by him. The others just know that he fixes broken pigeons. At any rate they guard his air space. W.W., Scorpio Power, and Mr. Squeaks crossed their paths when they went to Oklahoma.

Maggie is an SSP....(SUPER PETITE PERSON)!

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Feather

Shi, Don't you remember the Oklahomers? They are the birds that homed them selves around Pidgey's house. Some of them were probably fixed by him. The others just know that he fixes broken pigeons. At any rate they guard his air space. W.W., Scorpio Power, and Mr. Squeaks crossed their paths when they went to Oklahoma.

Maggie is an SSP....(SUPER PETITE PERSON)!

You are quite correct, WW! THANKS for reminding me! Even so, I still don't want Pidgey to think that Unie may be in danger. You know how sensitive he can be where she is concerned. Even one small whiff and he can get quite cranky!

DvN will certainly have his paws full if he tries to mess with the Oklahomers, now THAT'S for SURE! mmmmm, maybe he should - a surprise air strike from them would serve him right!

VERY good, WW...(don't you mean SpP?)Maggie is DEFINITELY an SpPP! (We could even say her COMPLETE title: SUPER petite PIGEON PERSON!)

[Feather]

Absolutely Shi! That is exactly what Lady Maggie is.......a (SpPP).

My husband has always told me he was a Scorpio. I never questioned it for a second. He does not claim his LIBRA Beginnings at all. In fact he ran out and brought the News Paper in Spanish, which says he is a Scorpio, then he showed me the Paper in English which says he is a Libra. He is awfully cute, but still MUY LOCO.

Feather

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Feather

Absolutely Shi! That is exactly what Lady Maggie is.......a (SpPP).

My husband has always told me he was a Scorpio. I never questioned it for a second. He does not claim his LIBRA Beginnings at all. In fact he ran out and brought the News Paper in Spanish, which says he is a Scorpio, then he showed me the Paper in English which says he is a Libra. He is awfully cute, but still MUY LOCO.

Feather

That's OK, Feather, we can all be a little crazy at times! According to the Zodiac dates, Libra runs from Sept. 23 - Oct. 22. SCORPIO runs from Oct. 23 - Nov. 21.

Those who are born so close to both signs (cusp) can have characteristics of BOTH. Your husband has the best of both worlds and I bet he takes FULL advantage!

Although ALL signs have their "winners," Scorpios are often known for their - ahem - expertise in the romance/sexual area! (mmmm, wonder if Casanova was a Scorpio?)

I am sure he is a GREAT guy ALL AROUND!! He has a GREAT WIFE too!!

[Lady Tarheel]

Been gone all day and just caught these posts.

You guys tickle my funnybone!

Pidgey can rest easy because my boys and girls are taking very good care of Unie. He gets first dibs on seed, water and baths. They know he is the KING and treat him accordingly. I'll not have him going back to Pidgey and tell him he didn't get the best in southern hospitality. Besides, he is awfully cute and sweet.

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Lady Tarheel

Been gone all day and just caught these posts.

You guys tickle my funnybone!

Pidgey can rest easy because my boys and girls are taking very good care of Unie. He gets first dibs on seed, water and baths. They know he is the KING and treat him accordingly. I'll not have him going back to Pidgey and tell him he didn't get the best in southern hospitality. Besides, he is awfully cute and sweet.

Uh, Maggie... no offense, BUT... Unie is a HEN... (at least, that's what Pidgey says)

However, I don't think I've ever heard Pidgey mentioning that Unie laid any eggs. If she IS truly a HEN, then, maybe there's something lacking with Pidgey OR he isn't her "type." Don't know for sure...

And, of COURSE, she would receive ONLY the BEST of Southern Hospitality! We know you and your "babies" are the BEST!!

[Lady Tarheel]

Well, I'm not telling the troops that she is a girl!

[mr squeaks]

I COMPLETELY understand! I know there can STILL be "sexism" in the world and for a pigeon in UNIE's category, wellllll...males, especially will find it hard to believe that a HEN is so powerful!

(*sigh* male machoism is still alive and well)

BTW, just thought I would add that Squeaks trained under Unie at one time. While he excels in his Pigeon Martial Arts and has ESP abilities developed with Scorpio Power, he went to Unie because she could train and advise him in areas only available through a blind pigeon and Unie is the BEST! She's the only one who has been trained to fly blind! So her training became invaluable to Squeaks as he does not need to "see" to perform any skills. She showed him how to use the "Pigeon Force" known as "THE ONE."

[Lady Tarheel]

Shi, I wasn't talking about male chauvenism, I was talking about hanky-panky