Season 2. Episode #5

[alvin]

Dudley picked up his bell, and with a deep breath rang, and rang, and rang. This time there was an answer. With a slight blurring of reality, the universe issued forth Uni.
'OOoooooooohhhhhhhh heck!!! MAKE A HOLE PIJIES!!!!!!' came the scream from everywhere and nowhere at once. Both Dudley, and Moe dived inside Dudley's house, as a pigeon shaped streak flashed across the room, coming to a sudden halt as the carpet bunched up under her feet.

'Darn!' Exclaimed Uni. She hated teleporting. She could fly like the wind, even in total darkness, but the inner pijie sense that allows them to teleport in total comfort and ease, was curiously absent.

*Side note on Pijie teleporting*
When you teleport from west to east, the direction you are traveling in is in harmony with the earth's rotation. - Hence you arrive with the same velocity as you left.

HOWEVER when you teleport from east to west, the point you are aming for is traveling twords you, by the fact that the earth is turning in that direction.

So how does that work out?

Well, the mathematics are very complicated, and I don't understand them very well myself but, what I do know is, if a Pijie gets the angles wrong, or fails to carry the decimal, then at best, they better be prepared to land running. At worst....well let's just say that they don't have to worry about a burial, the Pijie has already taken care of that themselves.
Hitting the ground at 24,000mph (the earth's revolutionary speed) will do that.

That is one reason why Pijies fly everywhere, teleportation is too dangerous for everyday use.

Way back up the evolutionary ladder Pijies who were incapable of mastering this skill to any extent, never survived long enough to breed, leaving the genetic ability to be passed on by those who could.

(Well there you go, theoretical Pijie physics, and evolutionary Pijie biology, all in one paragraph.....Jeezz, I think about this stuff wayyyyyyyy too much. Someone help me PLEASE!!!!!)

Uni shook herself, fluffed up here feathers, settled them back in place, in the same manner that many women will check their hair. And when she was composed, she turned to the two Pijies who's heads were just beginning to poke out from Dudley's house.

'Your message said the situation was urgent. - Well, talk young pigeon.'
'It's Dudley, m'lady. My name is Dudley.' Dudley felt humble in the presence of greatness. Tooter may be the heart of the SPPs, but Uni was the soul.
'I was speaking to your ladyfriend.'
'I'm not his Ladyfriend.'
'I can see you believe that, but you still need to tell me why you called for me. Speak quickly, and speak true. I will know.'

Moe felt no more comfortable under Uni's glare then Dudley did. She heard all of the stories, most of which she didn't believe. But standing here, in front of Uni? All doubts had been removed. All at once she wondered if she should offer Uni some seed? maybe some water? she didn't know how you addressed a legend. It's not something you learned in Pijie journalism 101 (correspondence course)

'Uni. Most of the Pijie's I know call me Uni.'
'You can read minds?' gasped Moe.
'Minds? - No. Nobody can do that, but I can read pijies....and it dosn't take the brains of an hour old squab to recognize the look you are giving me.'
'so it's trick?' Asked a very curious Moe (conciously avoiding the obvious question of how a blind pigeon could see the look).
'You will find, young lady, that most things are. Now, why am I here. As I have just said, I can't read minds.'

'Well, it's this...' said Moe pushing over the flier. 'It says-'
'I know. I can read human too.' Again Moe was agape. 'Have you tried contacting Tooter? He would want to know about this.'
'Yes, Uni. But he dosn't answer. Neither does Squeeks, or Dinkster, Hali, or Gertrude'.
'That is possibly because you are new to the SPPs. Many young ones have questions, it dosn't do to answer them all at once. You would never get things done.'
'So, you are saying that they are screening my calls?'
'No. Not all of them. But Tooter is busy with Dinkster trying to clandestinly rewire the new loft. Squeeks is busy getting reaquainted with his egg, Gertrude and Doodles are up to their beaks with pigeon problems in Trafalgar square. And Hali is still trying to figure out the B-mail system.'

Uni thought for a second or two, before making up her mind. It was obviously an important problem. They were going to Omaha......

[christina11]

So far so good!

Ahh so now I know why pigeons fly 'ha' Teleporting who knew.

[Feather]

I'm glad Dudley is recognized in the last two episodes.

He lives in the same house with Moe and Hali, and has mastered the art of bell ringing, and teleporting. I hope that Gracies flight to Florida is safe. Since the household is full of Super Heros,maybe she could use an escort. Remember a member from the underworld is probably curled up around there somewhere.

Another excellent episode Alvin!

Your Fan,
Feather

[mr squeaks]

(Well there you go, theoretical Pijie physics, and evolutionary Pijie biology, all in one paragraph.....Jeezz, I think about this stuff wayyyyyyyy too much. Someone help me PLEASE!!!!!)

Now, Alvin, before you get your tail feathers in a uproar, remember (you always forget!), you are an ALIEN...these things can come unbinden to your mind when you least expect. Aliens think about these things and actually know about them. So, for an Alien, you are normal!

Yep, Unie sure is something else! Bless her heart! Look forward to upcoming episodes...

BTW, FYI, a day ago, Squeaks came out of "daddy" mode and has decided his living room jingle bell is the "enemy!" He's been religiously practicing his Wing Fu and other pijie martial arts. Of course, cat chasing is always a given!

[Pete Jasinski]

It does just get better and better! I'm in a real need for the SPPs now, my evil arch enemies have pulled out all the stops and have put the lives of many innocent pidgies at risk! HELPPPPPPPPPPP SPPs!
Dudley tells me he learned his bell ringing skills for the Master ringer Mr. Squeaks, I hear he rings a wicked bell

[mr squeaks]

Originally Posted by Pete Jasinski

It does just get better and better! I'm in a real need for the SPPs now, my evil arch enemies have pulled out all the stops and have put the lives of many innocent pidgies at risk! HELPPPPPPPPPPP SPPs!
Dudley tells me he learned his bell ringing skills for the Master ringer Mr. Squeaks, I hear he rings a wicked bell

Oh oh, Alvin, sounds like we have REALLY ticked off Pete's neighbors now! Guess we need to "leave" a stronger message...maybe a "mind" change about "love thy pigeons!" Love always conquers hate...

Thanks, Pete. Kind of Dudley to say so. I think Squeaks' bell ability is going to be mostly on his home "hanging" bell. He thinks the one jingle bell I keep teasing him with in the "groove" toy is the enemy and is he is quite vicious about his beaking! UNFORTUNATELY, I have to limit his time because I think his beak gets in the "holes" and seems to cause soreness to his upper beak. When all looks well, I return the jingle bell and watch...

One thing about Squeaks, when he sets his mind to something, he has extraordinary singlemindedness and NOTHING stands in his way (as cats and bells have found out! Oh yeah, and sometimes my "enemy" feet! )

[alvin]

I'm taking notes.

I'm also very bloody busy at the moment, our heros will be attended to, just not right now.

Gimme a day or two, maybe three, and I'll have the next episode ready.

HECK!!!! - Even I want to know what happens next!!!!!!!

[Victor]

Poor Pete...the thought of leaving Tooter out and free crossed my mind. Bev

said NO WAY! I just thought that his presense there with Pete's ferals would

help. I will try and work on her.