Tattooed mother dove

[TheFormOfaDove]

This is for Jake,

I am just a normal guy. I was hired to do some yard work by this fellow here in Arizona. Nothing fantastic or amazing, just some raking and pruning. I had been at it all day when the home owner ( Jerry ) had instructed me to pull a broken branch from a eucalyptus tree. “Nothing” I thought, and with a few quick tugs the branch came crashing to the ground. With the chain saw and brush choppers Jerry and I made quick work of the fallen branch. All the while speaking of religion. You see, Jerry Is a theologian. And I am a recovering catholic. So of cores I had questions for him. I must say this did take Jerry by surprise as my appearance is quite jarring, I am almost 6foot tall about 200 pounds and with way too many tattoos, mean looking on the surface. The kind of guy that makes you hold your purse close and your children closer. I like that, you see I don’t like people all that much. They lie, they cheat and they steal. Animals, now there is a creation! Simplistic, pure, they tell you what they need and you had better listen cause they’ll just keep telling you what they want until you get it.

So I am picking up leaves and small branches and telling Jerry “ I pray, but of late and what is going on in my life I’m just not getting answers” And then it happened. I reached into a pile of broken leaves and branches and this little golf ball sized bit of life hopped into my hand. Mind you we had been stomping about, chopping and sawing, In spite of us, this little ball of life dared to change my life. Work stopped! My life at that point stopped. I know your more then likely reading this far and thinking, this guy has issues, I mean hell, you just found a bird what is the big deal about that? To me it was.

I think I must tell you a bit more back ground before ( Jake ) entered my life. I am in Arizona on trial for something that …well I did not do what I am accused of. I am living with my Ex mother in law and she has taken me under her wing, she above all others knows my heart, and to be honest I don’t give a rats ass who knows me or not. I used to live here and after the break up of a bad relationship I left. ( not my ex wife mind you) I went home to New Jersey. I was lost and confused, hurt beyond hurt. Then Katrina Hit and I knew what I had to do. I was watching the news one night and saw how the local police where shooting pit bulls. I could not see this, as they are sweet animals. So I made a B line for New Orleans. Took me a little more then a day to get there and I held up in Gonzales Louisiana at a place called The Lamar Dixon Expo center. An equestrian place. In three months I crawled under houses by my self and with others, have had homes near collapsing on me, mud, muck , snakes and, seen things most folks should never see. I stayed in a tent. No hot water, no real food ( to speak of) electricity or any other creature comforts. And I was HAPPY! The look, the feeling of getting one of these guys out, snarling, growling and snapping. Getting them out and to a place where they will eat and be warm and not scared…. This was heaven to me. The satisfaction of going in to a kennel and seeing a dog I pulled out, fighting me every inch of the way, and having them lick my face after he was cleand and fed, They don’t make drugs that would have you feel like that.

In those few months I found it, I found what we all ( I think) look for in life. My reason for being.

After being there for a few months I found a small place and was getting comfortable, doing things to help folks that did not have money refurbish their homes. And still helping animals. I found heaven on earth in chaos. I did find after a year of doing this, that a warrant for my arrest was issued, I turned my self in and have had my spirit piece by piece chipped away from me. No more word from God, alone with every little thing I worked for gone. And then Jake, a reminder of what im ****ing here for. A small little defiant bit of life reminding me that , though everything you had was lost, though you are feeling alone, something will come and help you, even if you don’t want it. Something that needs you for who you are. So here he sits with me, daring me to keep going cause he needs my help. Just a dove, a little bird that people see many of every day.

You see, Doves to me are more then just birds, they are a reminder of Gods presents to me. They are lost love and hope for new love at the same time. They bond for life and are monogamous. They are to me, perfect.

I used to tell my kids that when they slept at night guardian angels would watch over them. My step daughter asked why she could not see them, I told her they waited until she was asleep and she was very please with this and it worked well until, she asked if the angels watched her during the day. I told her that yes they do, she said “ well, I’m awake then so I should be able to see them”. I had to think fast so I told her that they turn into little birds. And that is why we should feed them. Cause then they need us to watch out for them. You know she is 15 now and still feeds the birds.

Little did I know that one day I would have to care for a guardian angel.

4 days later, I came home from work and took the box down. I knew something was wrong. I did not get the urgent peeps that I had grown accustomed to. The kind of sound that would cause a smile to be cracked across an otherwise granite face. I opened the box and Jake was very still. Frantic I called a local vet, while holding Jake in my hand, he opened his eyes gave me one last look and slipped away. I don’t even know if I said goodbye to the person on the phone. He waited for me to come home. He waited to say goodbye to me is what I like to think. So sweet and so tough.

Jake never knew the rush of wind under him, but for 4 days I felt the sun on my face again, I felt wind rush under me. It hurts so much to think of him and at the same time I can not help but smile. After all, I had a tiny beak up my nose. Some times when a door is opened I hear a faint squeak and I can almost hear him demanding “ where is my supper”! He left a change in my heart, he replaced what was chipped away. No more are there missing pieces, just a small golf ball sized shadow with bad table manners. God spoke to me with Jake, He reminded me what I am here for. You see I think, not all things last, pain, pleasure, or even the companionship of another life. But what remains lasts forever. In me now lives 4 days of happiness that are one of a kind days.
I’m gonna miss you buddy, you did for me something no person could do. I am sorry I could not do for you what a real mother dove could do.


My friend is not gone, he just changed. His feathers are full, wings work now, and he is feeling the rush of an ethereal wind. And he sees me, always. Now I should like to go outside and feed the birds. After all he reminded me what I’m here for.

Its not always about sadness.... Look for the lesson.

[Reti]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Those little creatures can indeed change our lives.
Bless you for saving all those poor animals.
Best of luck with your trial.

Reti

[Lady Tarheel]

Your story is very touching to me and I hope all goes well with you at your trial. Thank you for all you did after Katrina and for saving all the dogs you could. I'm also glad you are able to see how wonderful birds are. You couldn't have picked a better example than in a little dove.

[flitsnowzoom]

Bless you. The dove was a gift from another guardian angel to you. You were meant to be there and find Jake. Thank you for sharing your story, it took a lot, I know. Angels come in all shapes and sizes -- you've proven to be one yourself. I'm so glad that you were able to help people and animals and find a purpose in life that gave you real satisfaction. You must have done pretty right by your daughter too if she's still feeding the birds.
Bless you and little Jake, and best of luck at your trial. Please keep us posted about Jake and you.

PS -- I like your story about birds being guardian angels, may I use it when my little nieces and nephews come this summer to visit? I like it better than my pragmatic reason why I feed the birds.

[Larry_Cologne]

Thanks, Jake.

I have just one tiny, oh so tiny quibble with you. But I know you can handle it.

It's your user ID, your "handle": TheFormOfaDove.

It takes me forever to type, and then re-check the spelling! Why not TFOaD, or Jake, or, well ... it is a nice name.

There is a funny website where people post what they used to believe, mostly things as kids. Some are quite funny.

I Used to Believe (newsletter).

mat@iusedtobelieve.com

Very nice story you posted. You have issues? It seems they are disappearing, or at least ebbing. I know a lot of people with more serious issues than yours.

Don't like people? You have very high standards most of us can but don't or have not yet reached. Don't give up hope on us! (Of course, that doesn't mean you have to socialize with us, either. Something like, love, or tolerance, at a distance. (My wife complains about my social skills. I'm too pushy). At least when I write I can edit, edit, edit. Sometimes have my wife check it out. Let my wife answer the phone, usually. Or the answering machine.

Saves lots of apologies and retractions. Keeps shoe polish and shoelaces out of my mouth. Don't need so much teeth whitener. Still have crooked front teeth, though. (Probably genetic. Maybe ancestors adapted to frequent foot-in-mouth situations).

I'm from San Antonio, Texas, and one brother has a yard full of dogs. cats. squirrels. Two parrots. Had a ferret. Neighbor likes pigeons, dogs.

Actually I'm the oldest of fourteen, six boys, six girls, eleven still here. I like them when I'm in town. I love them while I'm in Germany. All the time; but all of us talking at once at a table, 10+ conversations going on, many unilateral or monologues, have overwhelmed many a person from a smaller circle of friends. I had to sit at on end of a long, narrow table, with my back against the wall, in a corner if possible. Then I had to focus on holding on to my sanity. Not easy. Social skills often amounted to screams and fists: "You clear the table now! It's your chore for this week! Mine is to do dishes! And I have homework to do before bedtime prayers" (obligatory: helps to handle the herd). Heaven forbid I would help clear the table myself. Spoil the kids? No.

Gotta go back to my other life. Good luck and best wishes with Jake. And everything else.

Larry

[Trees Gray]

Thank you for sharing your touching story about Jake and the dogs. There is a story unfolding in the news today about owners suing the police for shooting the dogs after the hurricane, quite a coincidence.

God bless you in your endeavors, and yes...there are still guardian angels, and God hasn't changed... people have.

[amoonswirl]

Originally Posted by TheFormOfaDove

So I am picking up leaves and small branches and telling Jerry “ I pray, but of late and what is going on in my life I’m just not getting answers” And then it happened. I reached into a pile of broken leaves and branches and this little golf ball sized bit of life hopped into my hand.

Wow - it looks like you got the answer you were looking for! Amazing how that can happen sometimes when one is least expecting...

I loved your story. Thank you for sharing. Best to you and to Guardian Jake.

[Lin Hansen]

Thank you for sharing your story with us.....I like your writing style.

Your story was very touching....I'm glad you found Jake at a time when it seems like you really needed him.

Welcome to Pigeon Talk, by the way.

Linda

[TheFormOfaDove]

Moderator. please delete this thread as it has been moved by myself. Thank you all.

[mr squeaks]

Thank you, TheFormOfaDove!

Your story really touched me - tears are still spilling and I am so GLAD that I can "touch" type since I can barely see the computer screen!

I am rarely at a loss for words, but am now. Jake must have had some unseen injuries that you could not see. I am so sorry he is gone, but know that he is with other beloved pijies and doves who have welcomed him over the "Rainbow Bridge."

I have met some people who cannot, will not or choose not to relate to their fellow humans. However, they CAN and DO relate to animals and/or birds. I completely understand.

I DO hope you will keep in touch with our site AND I will NOT be surprised if you post back that...LO and BEHOLD, you have found ANOTHER pij/dove in need! The WORD is OUT...

The best of everything to you...short time keeper of a feathered earth angel!!

LOVE and HUGS

Shi

[TAWhatley]

Originally Posted by TheFormOfaDove

Moderator. please delete this thread as it has been moved by myself. Thank you all.

I have closed the thread. Further posts can be made in the Hall Of Love forum.

Terry