The Super Powered Pijies #1.

[alvin]

It's an otherwise normal Thursday evening. Picture, if you will, a young Pijie, as he perches across from his Humans computer. His Human, 'Rollow' is only dimly aware that the Dinkster is indeed watching and recording everything he sees. Because not only is the Dinkster an otherwise unassuming pijie...He is the eyes and ears of the L.S.Ps (or 'Lisps') League Of Special Pijies. Or whatever Tooter thinks sounds cool this week. - It's one of the reasons the guys don't get t-shirts printed.
Dinkster watches on. Then Rollow hits on the Newbie Pic thread. His curiosity is peeked when Rollow scrolls past a rather cute little Pij, that Dinkster would love-to-get-to-know-better-wink-wink... He quietly wishes that Rollow would go to sleep so that he can log on, and grab the address of this cutie, and maybe drop around with some Safflower seed, maybe some peanuts....

Rollow scrolls down. An angry 'Hurrumph!' wakes Dinkster from his musings.......Apparently there are Pijies in trouble!
Suddenly he springs awake! Checking the clock he knows that Rollow will be going to bed soon. He can risk contacting the head of LSP then. The minutes seem to crawl by. Eventually he gets his chance.

He logs on to Pigeon Talk and quickly locates the thread. With a momentary sigh, he scrolls past his dream girl. A couple of clicks more, and he has printed out the thread, gotten the address, hacked into the city database, pulled up the blueprints, gotten the names of the Pijie haters.
He knows that Tooter will need all of this to come up with a cunning plan to suitably deal with the evildoers!

He remembers something Gertrude said to him after a large amount of Safflower seeds late at night;
'Don't get mad...Get Inventive!!'
The Dinkster hacks the IRS database, and just like that, Someone is getting a surprise audit.....

A warm selfsatisfied feeling washes over him. A few seconds later he has emailed all of the relivant documents to 'tootertheboss@lsp.org' and he is gone in a blurr of motion, a flash of light, and a faint smell of petunias (don't ask me, I'm just the narrator. Do I look like a rocket scientist?)

He arives in a tangled mess of feathers in Omaha. Tooter spits out the seed he was eating and admonishes Dinkster for not calling ahead. He could have been in the shower for all Dinkster knew. Dinkster apologises, but there are Pijies in trouble. Tooter understands and asks what the problem is.

'Where is your human's Computer?' Asks Dinkster.
'Inside.'
'We need access.'
'We'll have to distract Victor & Beverley. Luckily for us, Paris is up to the job.'

Two cages down Paris fakes a case of PMV. Victor and Beverley come rushing out of the house along with Halkmaster to check on Paris. A week or two in isolation with constant attention from Victor and the rest will be good for Paris.
All that remains is for Tooter and Dinkster to break out of the cage and get inside.

Like that's a problem for Tooter.......


A few minutes later, Tooters email is being downloaded.
After a few minutes of reading, and an agreement over the 'Hotness' of a certain female Pijie (Tooter gave her a 7, Dinkster gave her 12.5 - They agree on 9), Tooter decides to call out the Pijies!
All of them.
'Are you sure?' Asks Dinkster.
'Yup, rather be looking at them, then looking for them.'
'But Hali can't teleport. and Gertrude is Nuts!'
'We'll take the bus. I've watched Victor. But first we have to pick up Squeeks...Dinkster!!! TO THE BUS!!!!!!!'
'You really like saying that, don't you?'
'Yeah it's cool isn't it!?'
'Only if you've been lobotomized' Wispered Dinkster.
'What!'
'Nothing Boss'.

Let me introduce you to Pratchett's Second Law of Self Delusion.
It states;
If the human mind sees something that it knows cannot be real, it presents the individual with a suitable alternative. Victor and Beverley Know that busses don't suddenly go one dimentional and vanish in a flash. As a result they still see the bus just where they left it. And the place smells like flowers.

At the same time a bus arrives in Mesa AZ. A minute or two of furious cooing later Mr Squeeks is ringing his bell like Quazimodo on Speed! It is the 'Bell Heard All Around The World.' The signal has been sent........


Stay tuned for Episode 2.....

[Reti]

You certainly have a lot of imagination.
Great story. Looking fw for episode 2.

Reti

[alvin]

There. Sorry. Hope it's fixed.
BTW the guys ROCK!!!!!

[maryjane]

ROFL I just love it.

[Feather]

Alvin,

Now this is the way a story about our SuPer Pigeons is supposed to be written. I am at the edge of my seat!

Feather

Alvin,

I fell through one of those holes! Did you laugh when I disappeared? And then I logged myself off and couldn't get back on.

[Pete Jasinski]

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat biting my nails in suspense! What could the supers ones be up to? who is going to be the unlucky recipient of their feathers of fury!
I can't wait to read the next episode...SAME PIDGIE TIME, SAME PIDGIE CHANNEL.

[Victor]

OK, I stay away from the computer for a day...well, alright almost a day.

I log on to see what is going on, and am "told" by PT that a private message is waiting for me.

I am alerted to the recent saga "narrated" by Alvin.

Confused, I search for recent stories, and as always become engulfed on other stories, and Stach n Flash and Pete's beautiful pigeon pictures.

I hear Tooter in the pigeon room making a commotion, shortly afterwards the other 5 are coo-ing and grunting and moaning.

I rush in to check on them, and tell them, "shhhhh, bedtime guys be quiet"

They get even noisier...they flap their wings and the noise gets louder.

Beverly comes in and says,"Honey, let me try..."

I stand back.

She says,"Sshoosh Tooter, time to go to sleep."

"Uchie, sshoosh, time to go to sleep."

"Rosco, sshoosh go to sleep."

"Paris, sshoosh, go to sleep."

"Barbie,sshoosh bedtime go to sleep"

"Beaksley,you too, time to go to sleep".

Like a miracle, they all quiet down.

Bev smiles at me, and tells me "that's how ya handle it honey!"

Impressed, but yet intrigued at what I was pursuing, I get back on PT to find out who wrote what about Tooter and the other super pigies, I begin my search.All the while wondering why Tooter was making such a fuss.

BINGO! The answer was found by this inquiring mind...

ALVIN, I should have guessed.

(By the way, all my pigeons INCLUDING Tooter have a curfew, super hero or not!)

[Feather]

Don't worry Victor, Tooter does his most important work from right there inside of his cage. The time that he was away he built a very competent army. Now that he is home...he has always honored his curfew.

But his head quarters is still under the Omaha Zoo. Not only does Tooter train his pigoens there under some of his Generals, but he has a hospital there where injured and rescued pigeons from all over the world rehabilitate and mend. Remember you saw one of the nurses with Tooter when you were at the zoo.

They do visit the Slape home from time to time.

Keep an eye to the sky,
Feather