PoopZilla Strikes Again! (and again, and again, and...) - Pigeon-Talk
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ryannon's Avatar
ryannon ryannon is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 07:56 AM
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Unhappy

PoopZilla Strikes Again! (and again, and again, and...)


Just a little update in the never-ending saga of the destruction of my life by the Mighty PoopZilla: any shred of self-respect I still posess is being systematically demolished by PoopZilla's sex-drive as it kicks into high gear in what must be his sixth or seventh month of existence.

This bird is - there's no other word for it - jumping my bones every time he gets a chance: in the morning, the afternoon and even late at night when any normal pigeon would be sleeping.

The routine is always the same: a perfunctory courting dance, a few grunts, and then BANG! - right onto any part of me that's horizontal. His favorite partners: either of my two feet, my hands or my knees. Since he has access to my bed and likes to visit when I'm in it, I have an awful feeling that my head is next on his list!

I wouldn't feel so used if he displayed a bit of tenderness and affection afterwards: it would be nice to talk things over, look at each other in the eyes, spend a little quality time together. But there's none of this, and even worse, when he's finished, he generally runs off, circles back, and starts biting me!

Am I that bad?

But the very worst, horrible, sordid, unbearable part of it all is that I'm a guy!


At least I thought I was, up till now.

Last edited by ryannon; 9th December 2007 at 07:19 AM..
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mr squeaks's Avatar
mr squeaks mr squeaks is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 09:29 AM
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Mesa, AZ
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Oh, Jonathan....I just have this to say....

ROFLMAO !!

However, I can commiserate! Squeaks is currently in "mate" mode and I'm his mate...but, Squeaks IS a COCK and I am a HEN, soooooo, we're ...

Unfortunately, the Poopster doesn't have the luxury of female companionship, soooo, I hate to say this, but, YOU DA MATE...

Sending HUGS and SCRITCHES at this difficult time...for you, that is...

Shi
ryannon's Avatar
ryannon ryannon is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 09:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr squeaks View Post
Oh, Jonathan....I just have this to say....

ROFLMAO !!

However, I can commiserate! Squeaks is currently in "mate" mode and I'm his mate...but, Squeaks IS a COCK and I am a HEN, soooooo, we're ...

Unfortunately, the Poopster doesn't have the luxury of female companionship, soooo, I hate to say this, but, YOU DA MATE...

Sending HUGS and SCRITCHES at this difficult time...for you, that is...

Shi

Thanks.

Do you think he expects me to lay an egg?
 
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TheSnipes TheSnipes is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 11:21 AM
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Location: MI, USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryannon View Post
Thanks.

Do you think he expects me to lay an egg?
He may be VERY disappointed in you if you don't!
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maryjane maryjane is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 12:25 PM
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Location: Santa Rosa, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr squeaks View Post
Oh, Jonathan....I just have this to say....

ROFLMAO !!


Shi
I couldn't say it better myself!!!!!!
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Coo to me,
Bow to me,
Listen to me.
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Like no other....


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Roxy Roxy is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 01:21 PM
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Posts: 70
That is hilarious. Why don't you get him a beanie baby birdie friend?
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Lovebirds Lovebirds is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 02:12 PM
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Why don't you just give the poor guy a couple of dummy eggs?? ACT like YOU laid them, put them in a nice nesting area and see what he does.......of course, you'll have to take YOUR turn incubating, but............what the heck? If it will keep his mind off of "having his way with you" for a couple of weeks......
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ryannon's Avatar
ryannon ryannon is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 03:10 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
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If they weren't so expensive, I swear I'd buy one of these without any hesitation:

http://www.kilian-nakamura.com/catal...ing-p-144.html


I saw a far less expensive puppy version, and they're quite amazing. I immediately thought of using one to get PoopZilla off my back, so to speak...

Last edited by ryannon; 1st December 2007 at 03:43 PM..
Victor's Avatar
Victor Victor is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 03:47 PM
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Location: In Nebraska a place called Tooterville
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"I fought Poopzilla, and Poopzilla won."

You have already lost the battle...get some dummy eggs at a crafts store, and ...just give up.
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ryannon's Avatar
ryannon ryannon is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 03:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Victor View Post
"I fought Poopzilla, and Poopzilla won."

You have already lost the battle...get some dummy eggs at a crafts store, and ...just give up.

I'd feel guilty of depriving him of getting off.

The situation is hopeless.
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Pidgey Pidgey is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 04:10 PM
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Tulsa, OK
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Unfortunately, you're going to have to be the one sitting on the eggs for most of the time, say 20 hours per day.

Can you work at home with a laptop?

Pidgey
ryannon's Avatar
ryannon ryannon is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 04:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pidgey View Post
Unfortunately, you're going to have to be the one sitting on the eggs for most of the time, say 20 hours per day.

Can you work at home with a laptop?

Pidgey

Actually, what I meant to say was that I'd feel guilty about preventing him from getting his jollies...

It's a guy thing...solidarity between men, and all that.

I'd like to think of myself as his wing man.

And not just his girlfriend

Last edited by ryannon; 1st December 2007 at 05:09 PM..
Acquistapace Acquistapace is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 04:42 PM
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 20
That is just too funny. How true it is. Your problem reminds me of the time my daughter came for a visit and she would always go see each pigeon that we kept in a cage in the house, She took Noel out of his cage and he sat on her hand as she stroked his back down to his tail feathers over and over, she was amazed how calm and attentive he was. HA, after she put him back in his cage she noticed a big wet spot on the back of her hand she asked her grandmother what that was, after grandma explained what that was, my poor daughter was in shock, and disgusted, the look on her face was priceless. In the future she would visit Noel from the outside of the cage. Good Luck. Linda
ryannon's Avatar
ryannon ryannon is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 05:08 PM
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He's just starting out...we haven't got to the big wet spot stage yet....

On second thought, I think I'd better buy some of those eggs.
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Lovebirds Lovebirds is offline
Posted 1st December 2007, 05:23 PM
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Well, once he's "got his jollies"........
THEN you give him the eggs...........he will THINK he's done what he's supposed to and he'll be happy as a pig in mud for about 3 weeks.........
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baby bird, dummy eggs, healthy birds, house pigeon, male pigeon, male pigeons, nesting material, pet bird, pet shop, pigeon fanciers, pigeon feed, raising pigeons, safflower seeds, tail feathers

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