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Discussion Starter #1
About a month and a half ago I got a female ringneck to hopefully be a mate for my male. They were both lone birds, I got them checked out by my vet and they seemed eager to meet up once they became neighbours. Sounds good, right?

Well apparently not.
El, the female, seems to only find humans to be suitable mates, and now tries to claim me as her territory as soon as I let her out.
Meanwhile Curie, my male of 3 years has taken notice and now seems me to want to be his mate as well. He sometimes tries to preen El, but she almost always quivers in fear at his advances and then tries to attack him.
I waited until she was done with her eggs to see if they would get along then, but she still seems thoroughly attached to me and now I am caught in a weird bird drama.

Does anyone have ideas for how I could get these birds to stop viewing me as their mate and start accepting each other? Do I just need to wait? Or should I return El to her previous owner?

I am at an absolute loss as these birds fight to place their personal flag on the top of my head even as I am writing this.
 

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If you interact with them less, and let them interact more, without you around, it would probably help them to become more bonded. It may work, or may not.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I have been trying to interact with them less but I'm not sure how to remove myself when I have to supervise their outings to keep them from fighting... But I'll see if continuing to avoid interaction makes them less interested in me. Thanks for the suggestions. :)
 

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With Fiona and Blue, our two pigeons, Fiona preferred me to Blue and treated me like her mate until I refused to get her out for a while. I had to put their cages side for several days, then allow supervised visits so they would not fight. Finally she decided to throw me over for him and they are in love. When she lays eggs, which I swap for fakes, she bites me. Sigh. Better to have loved and lost I guess. It helped that I gave her some straw and Blue helped give her pieces to build a nest.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Hmm.. how long did you keep her cooped up? I worry because the temporary cage I've got El in is rather small. :S
 

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I have been trying to interact with them less but I'm not sure how to remove myself when I have to supervise their outings to keep them from fighting... But I'll see if continuing to avoid interaction makes them less interested in me. Thanks for the suggestions. :)
If let out in a room together, I doubt that anyone will really get hurt. They have room to move away from the other bird. You probably don't have to be right there when they are out. Just check in every now and then.
 

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I have a similar problem with two of my ferals - female seems to have paired with my son, preens his head, puts on her best show of fluffed up feathers and is glued to him when he enters the room and my male (I discovered two nights ago) although attacks me has actually tried to be amorous with my hands, twice now. I don't think the girl would ever pair with him, he's far too rough with her and I don't want a boyfriend right now, lol so I'm pretty stuffed on what to do other than try to pair them both with different birds.
I feel your pain but have no advice because I can't even work out what to do myself.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Wow she's already sitting on her nest again getting it ready for more eggs. Is there any chance she'd accept a new mate at this part of her cycle or do I have to wait another three weeks? :S
 

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When you put their cages beside each other, if they don't show interest in each other, then maybe they just don't like each other. Are you sure the new one is a female? Did she have a mate before you got her? If so, and they were separated, that could be part of the problem. Did the other owner have other birds, or just this one?
Also, vet checking them or not, the new one should be quarantined from the other one for a month before putting them together.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I'm not sure if you are talking to me or to FredaH, but if it's me then here's my reply:

Curie seems interested in her (he frequently tries to preen her, he coos to her), but El seems to think that only humans make good mates. Her previous owner told me she's always been a lone bird and that her original owner let her live in his whole house and petted her a lot, so I think she got that "humans = mates" idea there.

She is definitely female (she's already laid me a clutch of eggs).

I'm nearing two months of having her and I kept them separate until my vet told me they could be together, which she said, given their good health, was around 15 days. I had already met El before getting her and she looked very healthy then, so I thought the full month might not be necessary. :S They are both still behaving and pooping as usual.
 

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Would just give them more time. Also when you give them supervised visits would put a little pile of straw or whatever and see if one grabs it and delivers it to the other bird. Both our male female pair and two girl pair got friendlier when one bird brought a few pieces of nesting stuff to where the other bird was sitting on eggs. Are you still holding the human obsessed bird? Would be careful not to do that while you are trying to pair them up...especially do not pet her back.
 

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Okay, so given more information, that does help. If she was always with the one person, and layed eggs for him, then she felt bonded to him. A female can be difficult to get her to go from human to bird if they have been bonded to a human for a long time. She may not even know she is a bird. If after a months time or so, and she still isn't interested, then probably not gonna happen. I have known people who couldn't get a bird like that to pair with a male bird. That does happen. I would give them a bit more time, and if she still doesn't want to be with him, then you may need to try with another female.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I will try laying out nesting material when I let them out. She already has a nest in her cage, should I leave it be? If they get together, I'd prefer they be in his cage because it is quite a bit larger.

I am trying to touch her as little as possible. I don't need her to be more confused! I only pick her up from time to time by presenting my hand under her chest. I'm careful not to touch her back.

I'll give them more time. Hopefully she'll understand that she is a bird soon. Otherwise I have an agreement with her previous owner for her to return. I know that if she's really a humans-only bird, she will have a good time with them. :)
 

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Would put them supervised together in the cage with nesting material and eggs. Would swap out the eggs for fake eggs. Fiona and Blue chased each other and squabbled a few times but I just watched carefully and separated them with my hand. After a few short visits, they calmed down and started making a nest together, bobbed heads, and groomed each other. Fiona was so human oriented, bonded to me, that she acted like I was her mate and laid eggs for me. She treated me like her mate for about a year and a half before we got other birds including Blue. Now Blue and Fiona are totally bonded and Fiona bites and wing slaps me sometimes. Hope your birds get to be friends.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Interesting. I would say I'll try that soon, but... She already laid an egg! o_o I didn't realize she could pop out more so quickly after giving up on her last ones.
 

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If they have been unsupervised together would swap the eggs for fakes unless you want more pigeons. Don't remove any eggs she lays unless you replace them with fakes though as she will just keep laying more which will deplete her calcium. Fiona used to lay more constantly every few weeks when she was bonded to me. If you don't swap them and your birds are male and female you can end up with oops babies. I thought Fiona and Blue were both girls and didn't know Blue was a male until they hatched. Just a few unsupervised minutes was all it took. :) are you giving her something like Calciboost with calcium and D3?
 

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If they aren't getting along now, then putting her in his cage is not going to help. She needs to want to go in with him. Forcing it is not the way. Either they will pair or they won't. They do have likes and dislikes, and she does have a right to that. I wouldn't put her in his cage, I would at least give her that choice.
 

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Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
I'm actually about to go get some Calciboost on Wednesday (bird products are awkward to get where I am). For now she's on vitamin-enriched pellet and seed mix with some grit in a dish on the side. Aside from an egg she laid and then squished shortly after I got her (previous owner didn't give her grit so I think that's why), her eggs have been normal so far.

Last time I left her eggs in (apart from that squished one, which was a few days prior) because she hadn't been that close to Curie yet. She sat on them for about three weeks and then I took them out once she stopped incubating. Do they lay roughly every 4 weeks or is she just fast? Haha.

I'll be swapping these ones out since they've spent some time together. Though the most time they've spent unsupervised is maybe like 30 seconds, on separate perches. Better safe than sorry, eh?

Alright. I figure the cage is big enough that even if it were closed she would be able to get away from him, but if it is being forceful then perhaps not so great. It doesn't seem like he would be too territorial, though, since he has shown interest in being with her (he even danced around on the landing pad of her cage once, like a proper date waiting for his girl to come out :p, though I'll add she wasn't too impressed to be danced at while she was still egg-sitting).
I wonder if showing her that there is a nice big nesting area in his cage while he is out might give her some ideas? What do you think?
 

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Even if he is interested in her, he can still become very territorial of his cage. Not a great idea to put her into his space. Even in a loft, a male can be after a particular female, but then when she goes into his box, he gets very aggravated and throws her out. I have seen that lots of times. It's like he wants her, but then his territorial nature gets in the way. After a while, he does, of course allow her into his box. But silly as it sounds, it can take a little while. A cage, no matter how large doesn't give her room to get away from him if he is going after her. Taking your time and using patience works better with birds than trying to force it.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Alright. Thanks Jay3. Still no luck since last update, but I've been keeping them separate for a little while.

I had a weird incident today, though. Im not sure if I should make a new thread for this or post it here... I got home this evening and El's eggs had blood on them!

I first inspected her. I could find no problems with her face, wings, feet or vent (I'm not experienced at observing a vent, though) and the only blood I could find on her was a tiny speck on one of the shorter tail feathers. All of the days poop looked normal, including droppings she has made since I discovered this. She was acting as usual, and she ate normally.

On closer inspection, one of the eggs is slightly chipped (she refuses to leave any nesting material in her nest lately, so I'm sure it must have bumped the metal bowl she's using to nest). I'm including a picture of the eggs. The top one is the one with the chip (you can see it a little) and has only that one splotch of blood on it. The other has blood mainly on the side that's showing.

Given her seeming totally normal, what in the world could this blood be? They weren't bloody before. Should I take her to the vet for testing? Is there an area you think I should check to be totally sure?
 
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