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I suggest going over, when you are no longer angry, and talking to your neighbor, if you have not already done so.
Explain to them that the 3 feet of land on their side of the fence is your land and that you want to keep it in grass. Maybe you can ask them to put up some edging to keep the pea gravel from expanding.
I would not be offended by the pea gravel, but it is your property and you have the right to do with it as you will.
It is much more pleasant to have neighbors you get along with, so it is best if their foibles are small, just to ignore them.
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