I'm sorry, I only wanted to instill a bit of optimism because I imagine how you feel now.
When he disappeared I felt very scared and worried even if I know that pigeons have an excellent homing instinct (as we humans know well). The first day we did not spot him anywhere and I felt so hopeless.
I thought that the story of Marshall could encourage you in staying positive because when I was at your place I felt so distressed.
I live in a neighborhood full of dangers (traffic, seagulls, tram, etc) and Marshall is a PMV pigeon (in 2021 for a whole week he had his symptoms back in a horrible way: epileptic fits, he was all twisted and stiffed, etc). I really consider his return a miracle and I am very grateful for that.
The fact that your bird is not an indoor bird and that she knows well the surroundings are surely great advantages! Also the love for PJ will be her guidelight!
[/QUOT God willing. I'm just trying to be very positive, which isn't really in my nature so it's difficult. Your story and all the others give me hope. It's now an hour or so before dark and it's going to rain soon. I'm blowing the whistle a bit, calling her every so often. Maybe today's the day. I keep having dreams that she flys onto the loft and hops inside and I'm so happy she's back, and then I wake up and she's not here. Life is being cruel to me. I'm real upset but I'm forcing myself to be posative. This day had to come, whether I released her or she released herself, which wasnt ideal but life never is. She will decide what she wants to do ultimately as will P.J when it's her turn. I know if they decide to be free they will be happy and do just fine, I'll be heart broken but it's not all about me. I know Onyx didn't super freak out and just take off, she only went to the building across the street. Then flew on the roof of my building and then wherever else. She's around. Probably can hear the whistle and is just being a little rascle and ignoring me, having too much fun. I've released pigeons before that didn't return, and I saw one of them (a white pigeon with a black tail) the others I can't tell who's who, but I saw my white girl living on a building a few blocks away months after release, doing just fine, looking great. So I know no matter what choice they make they will be fine. I just hope they both decide to live in the loft and let me look after them and have them in my life. They're my best friends. In future I won't be getting so attatched to pigeons that will ultimately fly free and decide whether or not they return because it's just too uncertain, and it hurts too much when they don't return. Fingers crossed anyway, staying posative