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A final Jerry update for those who might be curious.Jerry did not come home.It has been 93 days.Even after all this time I still look for her,but deep down in my heart I know something bad happened.One day when i was having a tough time I asked Jerry to send me a sign if she was gone.I begged her because the year before my sweet cat died and I had my parents take him to the vet because I couldnt bear to do it.He passed away and I aksed him to PLEASE give me a sign that he forgave me because I felt so guilty for not bringing him to the vet myself .The next day I got a sign that was so amazing...anyway I got a sign from Jerry.ANd it may sound silly.but I was sweeping the kitchen and out of absolutely nowhere,I swept up a feather.Jerry used to come in last winter on cold days and nights,but it had been literally almost a year.That feather,i swept from under the kitchen table seemed to come from no where,it may have been under a table leg but still... but I was in denial and I refused to believe she was actuallly gone so i did not keep the feather...which i regret.(altho it was not a calculated thought not to keep it.I just did not accept it)I do believe the strength of love can come thru from beyond especially with pets because they really have the ability to love so strongly .So on goes life ,but still to this day I think of jerry every day.I know at some point I have to move on from upseting myself everyday.I think of her then I cry.My daughter(who is 14) says she ges surges of love for jerry and i know what she means.My son (11) tells me out of the blue that he misses her so much.we all have a .5% hope that she will just flutter in .Even now it is hard to believe shes gone.I feed the ferals still .One of my flock came to eat yesterday with a broken leg.SO many little babies come too.They are so small and thin and adorable.I hope all your pidge's are happy and healthy.
 

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That is such a touching story, you must have loved Jerry so much to be in so much pain after all this time. It is, as you say, not knowing for definite what happened that is the worst part of it all. It is a denial, and it is stopping you from remembering Jerry in a happy way. I believe she sent you that feather and that was her way of telling you she is still around, but she wouldn't want you to be so unhappy every time you think of her. If you try and think of the happy memories, you'll probably find you'll be aware of her more often. She wouldn't keep in touch if she thought it was making you sad.
If you help all those other little ferals that still come to feed, and their babies then somewhere amongst them I'm sure you'll find some comfort, as through knowing and loving Jerry they are now part of your life too, and need you to watch out for them.
She'll guide any to you that need your help, that was the purpose of her coming into your heart in the first place, and that's her new purpose now.

She knows how much you loved her, and still do. Think of her as flying free and happy :)

Take care,

Janet
 

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What feathers mean to me

Pigeon is Love,

I think about you and Jerry all the time, since reading your story awhile back. Peter disappeared for one night only and I was sick with worry. I can't imagine how painful this must be for you. I really appreciate your story about 'signs'. I have had weird unexplainable things happen to me after losing pets. I too have done the same thing you did, asking for a sign, and receiving it! I could tell you some fascinating stories. But suffice it to say, I totally get what you're saying.

What I don't get tho' is that in the past I have had *coincidences* involving feathers, and feathers to me mean 'good luck'. I don't want to give you false hope but there's more than one way to interpret that feather. My experience with feathers happened way back in 2003 when I was trying to buy my own home. I was sitting on the edge of my seat for days waiting for the bank to yay/nay it. I asked for a sign that it would turn out. When I walked into the entranceway of the house, to meet again with the then-owners, a feather fell down on the entranceway out of nowhere. I picked it up and took it as a good sign. Sure enough, I got the house the next day. Then, two wonderful pigeons moved into the eavestrough about a month later. Since then, any time a feather appears out of nowhere, I know something good is going to happen. It's been consistent. I know I probably sound wacko, but I do believe in signs because that's what my 51 years on the planet has shown me. The feather that drifted down into the doorway is now living in my mailbox, and has been there since I took ownership of the house in 2003.

So, maybe the feather means something good?
 

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A final Jerry update for those who might be curious.Jerry did not come home.It has been 93 days.Even after all this time I still look for her,but deep down in my heart I know something bad happened.One day when i was having a tough time I asked Jerry to send me a sign if she was gone.I begged her because the year before my sweet cat died and I had my parents take him to the vet because I couldnt bear to do it.He passed away and I aksed him to PLEASE give me a sign that he forgave me because I felt so guilty for not bringing him to the vet myself .The next day I got a sign that was so amazing...anyway I got a sign from Jerry.ANd it may sound silly.but I was sweeping the kitchen and out of absolutely nowhere,I swept up a feather.Jerry used to come in last winter on cold days and nights,but it had been literally almost a year.That feather,i swept from under the kitchen table seemed to come from no where,it may have been under a table leg but still... but I was in denial and I refused to believe she was actuallly gone so i did not keep the feather...which i regret.(altho it was not a calculated thought not to keep it.I just did not accept it)I do believe the strength of love can come thru from beyond especially with pets because they really have the ability to love so strongly .So on goes life ,but still to this day I think of jerry every day.I know at some point I have to move on from upseting myself everyday.I think of her then I cry.My daughter(who is 14) says she ges surges of love for jerry and i know what she means.My son (11) tells me out of the blue that he misses her so much.we all have a .5% hope that she will just flutter in .Even now it is hard to believe shes gone.I feed the ferals still .One of my flock came to eat yesterday with a broken leg.SO many little babies come too.They are so small and thin and adorable.I hope all your pidge's are happy and healthy.


yes...time to move on......have you thought about trying to help the feral with the broken leg?
 
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